Proper Customer Restaurant Etiquette

There really is certain restaurant etiquette that you should try to follow, particularly if you are dining at a high-end establishment. This includes dress, seating, correct use of cutlery, requesting condiments are passed to you, rather than reaching over your fellow diners.

But here we offer some restaurant etiquette tips which are really boil down to not being an unpleasant, rude or obnoxious diner for the benefit of your fellow diners and the staff serving you.

Restaurant Etiquette: Greeting on Arrival

Never ignore a warm greeting from the host or any employee of the restaurant, even if you are just going to the to the bar or bathroom.
Reciprocate a greeting with a greeting, not “I need”, “I want”, or silence.
Never just blurt out your name, the number in your party, and the time of your reservation in response to a warm welcome. Acknowledge the existence of a fellow human being with a greeting first.
Don’t think that holding up a specific number of fingers without saying anything is an appropriate response to a host’s greeting.

Restaurant Etiquette: Seating

Don’t walk into a restaurant, point to a table and say “We’re just going to sit there”, as you breeze by the hostess. Wait to be seated.
Don’t pound on the door before the restaurant opens. If the weather is nice, wait until the restaurant officially opens. If you are invited in early (because of bad weather, for example) as a courtesy, don’t start making demands. Good restaurants will graciously accommodate you while you wait.
Leave the chip on your shoulder, sour attitude, and nasty disposition at home. The staff really do want you to have an enjoyable evening (as do they).
Don’t throw a menu at the host and walk out yelling because there’s a long wait or you don’t like the menu or prices – neither are their fault.
Don’t make a reservation for 6 and show up with a total of 4 and say “We just wanted lots of room”.
Don’t make a reservation for 6 and show up with 8 – phone ahead and check if the restaurant can accommodate extra guests.
Don’t glare at the host and ask, “What are we supposed to do?”, after she gives you clear dining options. “I can seat you now at the bar”, or “I’ll have a table for you in about an hour” is pretty clear. If you’re determined to eat there, book in advance!

Restaurant Etiquette: Interaction

Make a human connection with your server, and the staff, to acknowledge that you value them and the difficult job that they’re doing.
If you have food allergies (actually allergies not a hearty dislike of certain food) or dietary requirements, let your server know from the start and be guided by them as to which menu items you should avoid. Better yet, advise the establishment of any food allergies or dietary requirements when you make your reservation.
Never attempt the old “Do you know who I am?” Servers are trained to treat every one with the same level of respect. Especially don’t try to lay claim to knowing the owners, if you knew them that well you’d be dining with them.
Don’t be a name dropper to try to curry special treatment. Ultimately, no one really cares who you know or how important you think you are.
Some restaurants mandate that servers introduce themselves to their tables and some servers do it at their discretion. If a server introduces herself, skip the sarcastic “My name is Fred and I’ll be your customer”.
Don’t drop the “I’m in the industry” line and expect the seas to part for you. (It defies logic, but some restaurant industry people can be the worst.)
Don’t walk into a restaurant and start telling the staff what they should or shouldn’t do. There’s an appropriate way to offer suggestions if the opportunity presents itself.
Don’t tell the staff that you’ve dined in the best restaurants around the world and expect them to be in awe of that piece of news.
Never snap your fingers, whistle like you’re calling a dog, wave your hand in the air like you’re hailing a cab, or yell “Hey!” followed by anything, when you’re trying to get your server’s attention. “Pardon me” or “Excuse me, when you have a moment please” work really well.)
Respect the fact that restaurants have policies for specific reasons, despite the fact that they might not make sense to you.
Don’t show off in front of your date or dining companions by trying to upstage the Sommelier or server with your worldly knowledge. You actually might learn something from them.
Don’t expect the staff to create something out of thin air “We’re out of the specials” means they don’t have any left, and you’re not getting one.
Remember what you have ordered and be ready to accept your plate from the server when they arrive at the table with your food.
Don’t talk loudly about personal things that make the staff and everyone around you uncomfortable.
Don’t talk loudly.
If you intend to split the bill based on what each person ordered, let your server know from the start. However, also understand that not every restaurant POS system allows them to do that. Or that your server may forget your request and then present one full bill at the end of your meal.
Tipping. Yes your server gets paid, for some though their pay isn’t great and, frankly it’s actually a really tough job. For other servers their attention to detail, or to your table, may have been so exceptional that you wish to give a tip. This will always be welcomed and we’d recommend 10-15% of the total bill cost (or your share if you are paying separately). Some restaurants may already apply a Service Charge to the bill, which is usually split across all non-management staff not just your server (see our article on the latest changes to the Service Charge Bill). But even then it is still perfectly fine for you to tip your wait staff on top of the Service Charge.